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PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
1: Kitty
2: Feather Pluckn'
3: Lump
4: Stranger
5: Boll Weevil
6: Peaches
7: Dune Buggy
8: Not Gonna Make It
9: Kick Out The Jams
10: Body
11: Old Man
12: Candy
13: Naked And Famous
1: KITTTY
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Little bag of bones been out all night
Little bag of bones been out all night
Kitty, you're scratchin' at the screen door
Kitty, you're scratchin' at the screen door
Little bag of bones been out all night
He needs some pettin' and lovin' on his head
He needs some pettin' and lovin' on his rain-soaked hide
He's circlin' round my ankle
He's circlin' round my ankle
He needs some pettin' and lovin' on his hide
Oh kitty, won't you come inside
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I want to touch it
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Pussy purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
Pussy purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
(Lost in his little yellow round die?)
(Lost in his little yellow round die?)
Pussy purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
Kitty up and scratch me through my jeans
Kitty up and scratch me through my jeans
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you, kitty you're gonna spend the night
OUTSIDE!
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty on my foot and I want to touch it
touch it
wanna touch it
wanna touch it
wanna touch it
wanna touch it
wanna touch it
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty
Touch it!
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty
Touch it!
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty
Touch it!
Kitty on my foot and I want to touch it!
2: FEATHER PLUCKN'
A billions of birdies squawkin' out loud
talkin' in code to clams in the clouds
They send a secret message, they send it by worm,
some vibratin' spiders will receive the word
But that's totally
feather-pluckin'
insane!
Ten million monkeys all pick up guitars,
Nobody taught them how
Five thousand fishies rockin' really, really, really hard
Nobody taught them how
Check-out chicken drivin' (vinny's) little blue car
Nobody taught them how!
Flies like to fly, cause they don't like to stay
They're buzzin' in the ears of a chicken all day
Chicken understand and they pick out the code
Send a sub-sonic signal through the snot in the middle
of an elephant's long wet cold grey nose
But that's totally
feather-pluckin'
insane!
Ten million monkeys all pick up guitars,
Nobody taught them how
Five thousand froggies rockin' really, really, really hard
Nobody taught them how
Check-out chicken drivin' (vinny's) little blue car
Nobody taught them how!
Oh yeah, Oh yeah
Everybody's supernova
3: LUMP
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh,
totally emotionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lump's pajamas
she totally confused all the passing pihranas
She's lump, she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She might be dead
Lump lingered last in line for brains
and the one she got was sorta rotten and insane
Small things so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin' out with the band?
She's lump, she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She might be dead
Lump was limp and lonely and needed a shove
Lump slipped on a kiss and tumbled into love
She spent her twenties between the sheets
Life limped along at sub-sonic speeds
She's lump, she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She might be dead
Is this lump outta my head?
I think so
Is this lump outta my head?
I think so
Is this lump outta my head?
I think so
Is this lump outta my head?
4: STRANGER
You, Lynard Skinnard-hat and
Me, little kitty
Sat across with a velvet jacket
Wild orange hair and dark, dark eyes
I got like a twelve-year-old - smitten
Carla the stripper,
straight from L.A.
You seem cool for a naked chick in a booth
Let's be pals some day
In other words,
Put some clothes on and call me
I saw you
It was incredible
Slim, relax,
Fine wine at the (QFC)
On a snowy Saturday night
#FFFFFF pearls and I swear you were drinkin' beer
You were the redhead behind the counter there
I'm the one who fell off his chair there
You had your dry-cleaning and I think you're dreaming
I saw you
It was incredible
Mumbled these words at you
Unintelligible
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
My, my, yea hey-hey
Hey who had what time is it?
5: BOLL WEEVIL
Let me tell you bout a friend of mine
His name is boll weevil, check him out
Spends all day
on his big butt
And he don't ever, ever get outside
I come to visit,
I bring some sunshine
And I just spread it all over the fire
He's stuck on his big couch
Stuck in his big show
He looks at the TV and he's all right
I come from the drug lord
The local drug store
(Bug is supplied) and he's never uptight
And I wonder:
"Boll Weevil, why don't you get out of your home?"
Said, "I'm comfortable here"
Don't wanna move, don't wanna leave
I said, "Boll Weevil, get right out of your home."
Goodbye, I gotta stay
I will some other day
Bye Bye, gotta go to sleep
And let the tube shine
Let the tube shine
Let the tube shine
Let the tube shine
Now, I would tell you bout boll weevil
But that bug is just too scary
He's sittin' there all alone
I try to coach him out, but he would not (try surprise)
But he would not move a muscle when I tried
Make him see that the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see that the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see that the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see that the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see that the sun is shinin' outside
Boll Weevil, get right out of your home
Boll Weevil, get right out of your home
Boll Weevil, get right out of your home
Boll Weevil, get right out of your home
Now, I would tell you bout boll weevil
But that bug is just too scary
He's sittin' there all alone
I try to coach him out, but he would not (drop his pies)
But he would not move a muscle when I tried
Make him see that the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see that the sun is shinin' out
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Make him see the sun is shinin' outside
Come on little buggy, he's a little bug!
6: PEACHES
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
Gonna eat me a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin' to the country,
gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can,
they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
I'd eat peaches every day
Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade
I took a little nap with a with a (Rousseau) twist
Twist a ripened peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman,
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for it to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie
Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Look out!
7: DUNE BUGGY
A little blind spider took the wheel
Navigatin' grass blades completely by feel
Got a sassy chassis, sparklin in the sun
All four small bald fat tires
rockin through the sand and burnin' up
Little dune buggy in the sand
little blue dune buggy in my hand
I got a rubber-band motor hummin' on a beach, ready for fun
Quit spinnin' and webbin', come out play in the sun
Eight pimple-sized cylinders, be as smooth as you please
Spider's bad-ass fat old abdomen stuck in the buggy seat
Squishy transmission was caught in drive
Spider man was squinting at the sand in the sky
Spider woman in the front seat, screamin' "Go, Go, Go,"
He's ridin' the accelerator down to the floor with his fuzzy little toe
Little blue dune buggy
8: NOT GONNA MAKE IT
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it
Cause there's a million better bands
with a million better mp3
Singers who can drum
Singers who can sing
Deep in my heart,
I do believe
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it
Cause we don't have the talent
And we don't have the time
We don't have the patience
And we don't know how to rhyme
No, no, no
We're not gonna make it!
9: KICK OUT THE JAMS
I've been elected to rock your asses til midnight
This is my term, and I've jammed out my perm, but it's all right
I solemnly swear to uphold the Constitution
Got a rock and roll problem?
Well we got the solution
Set and see who I am
Let me kick out the jams, yeah
Kick out the jams
I done kicked em out
I've been selected to orbit the planet in a rocket
I'm going to mars, I got a message for the poodle in your pocket
Mission Control, calling supernova
The (nightlife's) rockin', you can come on over
And let us see who we am,
Let me kick out the jams, yeah
Kick out the jams
I done kicked em out
10: BODY
Little sign of manhood,
Where did you go?
Edge of the yard
I found you, you know
All brown and hard
I can't get your body out of my mind
Can't get your body
I can't get your body out of my mind
Can't get your body
She goes smooth through my body, Yea!
Through my body she goes smooth
She goes smooth through my body, Yea!
Through my body she goes smooth
Little killer froggy,
Where did you hop?
Under the entertainment center
Realize you just couldn't stop
Worms found a hole in your booty they could enter and
Hey little lizard,
Where did you slink?
Left your cage door open
Under the basement sink
The drippin' water made your mouldy body eyes open and
11: OLD MAN
Happy with no teeth
Happy here in hibernation
Slurpin' on a peach
Starin' at the situation
Kitty on my foot
Meowin' out a conversation
Rockin' back and forth
That's my only destination
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that old man is me!
Got a two string on my lap
Total subsonic vacation
Got chicken on the drums,
poundin' out a perfect prescription
Got twenty little worms
I'll plug in some amplification
Got fifteen hundred base drum - luggin bug-eyed monkeys
All arriving at the station
I'm sittin on the back porch, kickin' my legs back,
rockin' in my rocking chair, and sittin' there
On the little back porch is about to fall apart
So I think I might repair it
Just as I'm thinkin' about repairin' it,
Some little friends come along
with some two-string, one-string, no-string guitars
And they all plug em all in to the back porch
And they sit around playin' all their favorite mp3
They's kickin' back feelin' real good,
real fine, real full of the wine
And everything's fine, everything's beautiful,
everything's great, I just feel so good
You know I'm seventy years old
and I'm slurpin' everything through a straw
12: CANDY
The sugar's only sweetness,
Salt is ocean tears
And you were my only weakness
For years and years and years
You little (yo) sweetie
You were hiding in a jar
Now my mind is gone completely
Take off the lid and there you are
You're my can-dy
Can-dy
Well the devil, she made sweet candy,
took six days and nights to dream
On the seventh day she rested,
woke up early and made ice cream
Now the devil, she must be a dentist
with deep jawbreaker eyes
Red rope hair, gumdrop lips,
cotton candy thighs
(Chaga lava) stole my body
and aftertaste stole my mind
Left me dangling down defenseless
then sweet candy she said goodbye
Now my teeth are worn and useless
My eyes too sunk to see
My tongue swelled up to twice its size
and all I want to do is eat
13: NAKED AND FAMOUS
I can't explain glacial motion
or why Los Angeles don't drop into the ocean
I can't unfold the layers of mystery
or piece together the tragedy of history, cause
those lucky suckers,
They don't have to work
make 3D billboards and big
30-foot smurfs.
Everybody wants to be naked and famous,
Everybody wants to be just like me
I'm naked
And famous
I met a poet, said she didn't like the smell of it
then took her clothes off in a restaurant for the hell of it
I met a DJ who lived in seclusion
Reality and sobriety were her only delusions, and
those lucky bastards
they didn't have to work
Make 3D billboards and big
30-foot smurfs
Don't get a nosebleed,
don't get upset
We can't be naked and famous
just yet
There's a big old dollar sign
on the sunset strip
You can send your friend a postcard
It ain't worth the trip
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