Dear abby, dear abby ...
My feet are too long
My hairs falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that Ive no friends at all
Wont you write me a letter, wont you give me a call
Signed bewildered
Bewildered, bewildered...
Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you aint what you aint
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Dear abby, dear abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it werent so expensive Id wish I were dead
Signed unhappy
Unhappy, unhappy...
Repeat chorus
Dear abby, dear abby...
You wont believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me its all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed noise-maker
Noise-maker, noise-maker
Repeat chorus
Dear abby, dear abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed just married
